Shattered Dreams
by Reizo Myu
Summary: Inspired by Alex Ross's drawing of a shattered mirror, my take on how a Joker who went through a chemical bath reacted first time he saw himself. Not really Nolan-verse but I hope just as good. R/R please!


_**SHATTERED DREAMS**_

The river was freezing, I almost screamed as I opened my mouth to beg for air and instead got lungs full of water and Ace Chemicals. I thrashed around, my eyes too clouded to see anything but the spots of light. My head hit something a few times, rocks, I wasn't sure. It was amazing how clear my head was through all the chaos. I felt my feet touch something, sandy ground. With a burst of adrenaline, I kicked off and shot straight up, surfacing with a huge gasp.

My face hurt. I could barely notice the throbbing in my head as I coughed up water and blood. What was really odd was my face hurt. It was like my muscles were causing the corners of my mouth to stretch up to my ears. I could hardly bear it.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, wheezing and desperately dragging the rest of my body out the river. I felt my legs working less than my arms, limply lying there as I pulled myself on to the bank and out of the cold, unforgiving current.

What I did know, however, was that I was alive. I was tired, wet, cold, hurt, but I was alive. That counted for something, right? I looked up, blinking away the tears of relief as I looked around me.

There was something nearby and I struggled to my feet, staggering towards the light. It was a house. Gasping in relief, and y doing so coughing even more, I dragged myself over, forcing my tired feet to move. My face hurt so badly.

I knocked on the door, half collapsing against it. When it opened, I fell to the floor and looked up with pleading eyes. The woman standing there shrieked and I reached out, trying to tell her I meant no harm.

"P-please. H-h-help… m-me." I coughed, trying to reach her ankle. She screamed again, and, for a moment, I saw Jeannie's face instead of hers. It terrified me but, for some reason, I couldn't feel my lips pulling into a grimace of pain. The woman, as I pulled myself to my feet using the door frame, shoved past me and scrambled out the door. It just assured me that no one else was here. But something about me must have terrified her. I couldn't feel my red helmet over my face and knew that it could only be my face. What was wrong with my face?

A new sense of dread washing over me, my legs no longer felt like jelly. I forced myself to walk, made myself search the house for a bathroom. I found it in a hallway, third door on the left. Shoving the door open, I walked in and was greeted by a mirror hanging over a sink. In that instant, I could see nothing but myself.

My mouth… I now understood why it hurt so much. I couldn't stop smiling. But that wasn't half as frightening as the rest of my. My hands, I gazed at them now, were chalk white. They almost glowed under the light. My hair was a wet, tangled mess of moss green. It fell over my left eye and I pushed it away in disbelief, having to see with both eyes. Oh god my face… my face…

It all came crumbling down. In one day everything I had cared about had destroyed me. Jeannie was dead, my child would never be born, my face was ruined. I felt despair wash through every part of me as I perspired in rage and confusion. What was this thing? This awful face in the mirror that terrified me.

I reached out, the ever present grin on my face, as I slammed my fist into the reflection. It shattered under force and I felt glass push pass my delicate white skin into my hand. I could care less. I pressed harder, cracks appearing like spider webs.

Seven years bad luck. taunted a voice in my head. I ignored it, making myself grin as I shoved my fist into the mirror. Tears mixed with the sweat as I turned away and buried my face in my hands. No, not my face. I was not Jack Napier. It was obvious to me, now, that I was never really that man.

Was I?

Wasn't I?

It was all so confusing as I moved crying into my hands. My face was too cut by glass but, I couldn't notice. With a growl, I yanked the pieces out and threw them each to the floor. Each piece, each splinter, felt like penance.

Then the screaming started.

"Ahhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" I yelled, angrily slamming into the wall, as if it would help anything. I stormed out of the bathroom, raking a hand through my hair. I wouldn't bother not trying to smile now. I embraced it, driving my grin to widen, making it more twisted and yet, more natural than it was. I screamed again, pulling myself out of the door.

"AHHHHHHHH! AHHH! HAHA! AHHHAAHAHAHA!" I choked, feeling my screams changed. I didn't mean to. They contorted in my throat, made me gasp for air and struggle to keep my chest from breaking to pieces.

"HAHAHAHAHA! AHHAHAHAHAHA!" I giggled loudly. The sound frightened me, scared me out of my mind. Made me feel confused again. Why would I be laughing? My question answered itself as I pulled myself back to the river, trying to travel to the Narrows. Nobody would mess with me. Frantically, as I gave my screaming laughter, I searched my pocket and found the gun I'd been using at the heist.

I giggled again, clutching my chest. I only made it to the banks of the river before I saw my reflection again. Then I couldn't move. I collapsed to my knees then sprawled out awkwardly in the sand. My face…

And everything fell into perspective.

I continued laughing, couldn't stop no matter how much I wanted to.

Did I want to?

No. This… It wasn't my fault. None of it was. Life was never made to be happy. If life was as dandy as everyone made it out to be I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be home with Jeannie, oh Jeannie. Wait… I'd be home with… Jeannie. Jenny… Jessie… Who?

Who would I be home with, what was I fighting for, why was I laying by a river? I remember Batman, a fight, the vat of chemicals. What else did I remember? Everything else… it was blurry. I'd been thinking about Jeannie...

Who was Jeannie? What was going on? I was… happy, wasn't I?

Yes, I was happy. I was laughing. There was a gun in my pocket. I could feel adrenaline pump through me. What had I done? Something exciting. I wondered about the Batman. How interesting it would be to see him again. He was the only thing I really remembered.

Maybe he remembered me too. Maybe… maybe he would understand this mess. But I needed to find a way to get his attention. What better way than... than crime. I was going to have to commit a crime and soon.

* * *

SIX MONTHS LATER

Jack Napier stands alone on a roof-top. What's he doing there? We don't know. Does he? Maybe. What we do know is that there's a man at his face, his face is stretched into a hideous grin, product of his newest Joker Toxin.

Dimly, we hear him whistle. What's he singing as he skips along to a doorway? Why, it's 'Singing in the Rain.'

He opens the doorway and jots down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"Hello boys. Now, I trust you won't make the same mistake as Johnny up there." he says, grinning broadly as he skips past a few thugs dressed as clowns.

"Sure boss." one says, making an attempt to be the good one. It works, Jack's mood is light. But, as he moves along, motioning for his lackeys to follow him, there's something different about the walk.

It's more of a prance, a strut. Something that the real Jack Napier would have never done.

"If it's not too much trouble boss, what'd Johnny do?" another asked. He turns around, a bright grin on his face. This time, it doesn't need the chemical aid to keep him grinning.

"He screwed up the punch line."

The Joker continues, confused workers behind, leaving a corpse behind him. It's already the past.

And there's a nice part about this kind of past. He an remember it.

FIN

* * *

A/N: Hello. I recently saw a picture realism drawing by Alex Ross of the Joker after he first saw his face. It took only about a second to plant this in my mind and then I was writing. I originally wrote a different epilogue(Six Months later) but just pm me if you want it added as a second chapter. You have to see the picture to understand so look it up! Please R/R! Have I mentioned that you guys are just aout as good as TDK?


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